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It ain’t over til the fat lady sings (or can squeeze into her skinny jeans)

fat lady sings
Image by wstera2 via Flickr

Ok world. Here I am. Are you ready for me? I am not even sure that I am ready for me but I am going to try to start this thing called “blogging”. Complete neophyte I am, I earlier googled “what is a blog?”. I also googled, “What is the difference between a blog and a website?”  Well, to make a long story short, a Blog is similar to an online diary that can easily (and relatively cheaply) launched whereas a website usually involves some measure of technical skill and a fair amount of computer knowledge (both of which I lack). Now before you all write back to me (please somebody write back to me!) that I have it all wrong between a Blog and a Website, just have mercy on me as this is my first foray into the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Gosh that sounds so ominous, the “WORLD WIDE WEB”. What kind of web am I getting myself into? I don’t know about you but when I think of the word “web”, I think of spiders – yuck! All of those creepy legs and multiple eyes. Spinning webs trying to catch their prey….

Well I guess that’s why I am here, trying to catch your attention. You, (my prey) are here to listen (or in this case, read) to what I feel is a major problem in today’s society. With the proliferation of countless diets and weight loss regimes, why isn’t there one that works AND make people happy? Life is too short to constantly limit ourselves to one of life’s greatest pleasures – FOOD.

I love food and I know that you do too.

There has got to be a way to eat, drink, be merry AND lose weight. If we can put a man on the moon, we can certainly figure out a way to eat foods we like and not have to obsess about what number will pop up on the scale tomorrow morning.

I don’t know about you but I for one am sick and tired of the endless nonsensical babble about diet, exercise, eating right (what the hell does that mean?),  proper portion sizes (size of Mary Kate Olsen’s fist), the zone, whole grain, whole wheat, wheat free (I thought whole wheat was good for you) , gluten ( what the hell is gluten?), gluten-free, macrobiotic, organic, free range, cage free, pesticide free, fat-free, low-fat, low sodium, etc. etc.

Just tell me what to eat that is good and will help me lose weight. I really don’t need to know the science behind the ZONE’s 30-30-40 rule. I don’t care about good fats versus bad fats. All I care about is to be able to fit into my skinny jeans with out my muffin belly gorging out of the too tight waistband. Show me the way. Somebody please show me the way!

So, I have taken it upon myself to set upon a mission to lead us to the promised land. A promised land full of milk and honey (and bacon, cheese, steak, seafood, etc). A mission to eat what I want, as much as I want, whenever I want AND lose weight.  I am telling you if there is a will there is way.  It ain’t over till the fat lady sings….

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