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“Bab’s, Gimme more eggies!”

Cover of "Macho Man"
Cover of Macho Man

Oy vey, back to the drawing board. After a wonderful and very successful four days of eating what I wanted, when I wanted, as much as I wanted AND losing weight, my four-day run took a turn for the worse. Blame it on the fried chicken, mashed potatoes and dozens of Margaritas from the night before… conclusion….never eat all of the above and expect to lose weight. This I learned the hard way (or rather not too hard what with all the Margaritas!). However, like the famous saying from American educator, Thomas Palmer goes, “if you don’t succeed, try try again.”

So my quest for the “holy grail” of diets continues and I am back in the “saddle”, or rather squeezing myself into it. Although I was quite bleary eyed and slightly hung over from the previous night of debauchery, I somehow pulled myself together, packed up the family and dog and headed out to the Hampton’s.

Before heading out, I made sure to stop at the local farmer’s market which has THE BEST FISHMONGER this side of the Mississippi. His fish is so fresh, you can just tell that these little puppies were hanging out with Nemo and friends only hours before. As we were in a rush to get out of town, I just ordered the usual…a pound of heartbreakingly fresh fleshy sea scallops,  a pound of luscious sashimi grade tuna and a pound of sparkling and shimmering flounder.

Breakfast was 3 eggs “over easy” and several slices of crisp fried bacon. Now, I am not an egg lover by nature. After I saw that infamous John Waters movie “Pink Flamingos” in junior high school, I refused to eat eggs for over 20 years. The mere thought of the fabulous Ms. Divine decked out in full drag, along with her repulsive RV loving mother yammering for more and more eggs, “Bab’s gimme more eggies!”, smothering her not too small bosom with plates and plates of scrambled eggs, makes me, to this day, want to HURL. However, after years and years of avoiding earths “perfect food”, I have decided to face my fear of eggs head on. As eggs are basically devoid of carbs, I needed to find a way to make amends with these little chickies.

The best way I prefer eggs is fried in butter or olive oil and served “easy over” with salt and pepper.  I used to like my eggs “sunny side” but one too many experiences with undercooked and runny eggs have led me to the conclusion that “easy over” is the guaranteed way to avoid the clear jelly like membrane coating undercooked eggs have. I like to use the broken yolk as a kind of rich dipping sauce to crispy bacon and/or fried sausages. Decadent and yummy.

Lunch was chili with black beans.

Snack was 2 bags of roasted peanut – (only 5 grams of carbs per serving!)

Dinner was pan-seared scallops and sautéed broccoli rabe with garlic and oil. Now the KEY to making scallops is to make sure that they are completely dry before you cook them. I like to rinse them in water and then gently pat them dry with clean paper towels. Make sure the pan is very hot and finely covered in olive oil. then simply sear these babies for 2 minutes on each side (depending on the thickness of the scallops)  You want to avoid over-cooking them as your newly bought bounty can turn into rubberized disks if you over-cook them. A gentle squeeze of lime and fresh pepper and voila!

I love Brocoli rabe. The distinct bitter flavor counteracts the natural sweetness of the scallops. I like to coarsely chop the veggies, heat up some olive oil, fry a couple of diced cloves of garlic and then add the freshly washed veggies. A generous sprinkling of salt and about a dozen turns of the pepper grinder directly into the pot is all the seasoning I use. Pop the top on let steam for about 5- 6 minutes. Turn off the fire, toss them around in the pot and that’s it. Beautiful rich greens oozing health and goodness.

We ate early because we were heading out to see the VILLAGE PEOPLE. Yes, those Village People!!!

Believe it or not but they are STILL performing and dancing and singing up a storm. They were playing in the Hamptons to a sold out crowd of fellow geriatric and AARP members. I mean, when I heard about the concert, I literally said, “OMG, are they still alive?” I mean Y.M.C.A. came out in 1978. Who can ever forget the song played at every single Bat Mitzvah and Wedding?

Well, I can assure you that 5 of the 6 original village people are still alive and kicking – Glen Hughes, the Biker dude passed away in 2001. The other fab five looked AMAZING and surprisingly energetic as they had the entire crowd all up and dancing in their seats. They opened the show with “Macho Man” and had the entire theatre chanting “Macho, macho maaaaannnnn. I want to be…. a  macho man”. After several other songs from their long history of hits, like “Go West”, “In the Navy”  and a long medley of 70’s cover hits, they closed the show with the requisite YMCA.

Before they belted out that much-anticipated hit, the Village People gave us all a “brush up course” on how to do the famous dance. Just in case you have living under a rock for the past 32 years, you basically place your arms in various modes of the afore mentioned “letters”, without smacking your neighbor and/or loved one in the face with your arms or elbows. Its harder than it sounds especially when are in a sitting in a small theatre and your nearest neighbor is mere 6 inches away from you.  Go ahead…. try it to the music. Just make sure you are arms length away from the nearest person.

Chow for now!

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