Another reminder that it may be time to knock off a few pounds is when you go clothes shopping, especially in small upscale boutiques. I had this sobering experience yesterday when I went shopping for a cute summer party dress to wear to a friends party this weekend.
My daily summer uniform of flip-flops, shorts and tank tops is all you need in my neck of the woods. Even though I am “summering” in the Hamptons, I am definitely NOT one of the East Ends fashionable elite. You will not see my mug gracing the society pages of Hamptons Magazine or Dans papers. The fanciest thing I own out here is my Chanel sunblock.
Alas, what to do? I dug out my most presentable pair of shorts and my least stretched-out t-shirt and hit the shops in Southampton.
I have not been clothes shopping for a long time. Years working in the fashion industry has left me with quite an impressive designer wardrobe. Part of my salary, back in those days, were 4 complete outfits per season. As I worked for such illustrious houses as Isaac Mizrahi, Badgley Mishka and Yves Saint Laurent, you can imagine the arsenal of designer duds I have collected over the years. However, ALL of my lovely frocks were back in the city and I certainly was not going to fight the Hamptons traffic for a little dress. Or should have I……
Meandering in and out of shop after shop, trying on frock after frock was getting me more and more depressed. Either the clothes were too small, too unattractive or just too expensive. At my very last stop, I finally found a cute summer dress (on sale!) and in my size.
Two very chicly attired sales ladies, after looking at me up and down (oh why didn’t I wear my good flip-flops?), led me to the changing room in the rear of the empty boutique. After I disrobed, I realized in horror that I was not wearing a proper bra. Years of experience in the industry have taught me that a bra and/or control top panty hose (has any one ever heard of Spanks?) can visually knock off as much as 10 pounds off of your figure. Cramming those extra lumps and bumps into a good solid undergarment is the answer to most of lifes problems. Proper support is key.
Anyway, without any of my sous-garments arsenal, I bravely squeezed myself into this lovely frock. Surprisingly, it fit….well sort of. I was able to get the buttons buttoned and the clasps clasped. However, there was one little button, the one across my bustline which was precariously stretching to the limit. Now just for the record, I am NOT busty. Far from it. In fact my husband (hi honey;), has bigger boobs than me. However this dress (on sale!), was clearly designed for little boys.
When asked if they had the dress in the next size, the sales ladies both looked at me tilted their heads back and forth and said in unison, “it fits, you just need to get a better bra.”. I knew they were right and I bought my cute little party dress (on sale!) and sailed out the store. Now all I need to do is find a bra.
Chow for now!