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Die “Skinny Bitches”, Die, Die!!!

Cover of "Skinny Bitch"
Cover of Skinny Bitch

 

I just finished reading a book titled “Skinny Bitch”. The authors are 2 women, one a former model and the other a former booker of models, who joined forces to write a New York Times bestselling book and subsequent follow-up guides to eating and “start looking fabulous”.   

The book is a self-described “no-nonsense, tough love guide for savvy girls”. Their prescription for becoming a “skinny bitch” is to give up the following: (The comments after each forbidden item are actual quotes from the book) 

  • No Coffee – “coffee is for pussies
  • No alcohol – “beer is for frat boys
  • No Smoking – “cigarettes are for losers
  • No Sugar – “sugar is the devil
  • No Artificial sweeteners  – “they are poison
  • No Soda not even diet soda – “Soda is liquid Satan
  • No white Flour, no white rice, and no white pasta – “shitty simple carbs
  • No meat of any kind – “decomposing, rotten animal carcases
  • No fish of any kind – “”full of mercury and poisons
  • No dairy of any kind (no eggs, ice cream, yogurt, cheese, butter, nothing, nada) – “go suck your mother’s tits.”

It is only until chapter 11 that they let know what we can eat. The list of foods that are acceptable to the “Skinny Bitches”  are only organic (must be organic or don’t eat it)  fruits and vegetables, salads with lots of raw vegetables, organic beans, brown rice, soy products, veggie burgers, veggie pizzas with no cheese (!)  and dairy-free milk substitutes. 

Other words of “wisdom” from these ladies: Regarding breakfast – “Eat one piece of organic fruit slowly, after 10 minutes or so, when you feel hungry, eat another piece.  After that, breakfast is over” .  Regarding lunch –  “Dont eat lunch until you are close to ravenous.” Regarding Dinner – “When you’re feeling really hungry, its time for din-din.” They go on to list all the “fun” things to eat, such as “chicken-free nuggets, organic millet (what the hell is a millet?), Tofurkey dinners and veggie dogs.”  Are we having fun yet??? 

Sooooooo, basically if we stop eating all of the foods that we love and only eat the foods permitted on the very specific lists that they provide, only eat very slooooooowwwwwwwly and ONLY when you are beside yourself with hunger, you too can become a “skinny bitch”. 

The problem I have with these “Skinny Bitches” is that they are promoting their book as a solution  for permanent weight loss, whereas, this solution is extremely difficult to follow. To suggest that one need to give up most foods and most drinks (water or decaffeinated organic tea is allowed) in order to lose weight and “start looking fabulous” is naive and condescending. Obviously if we all stopped eating most foods and ceased drinking most liquids, we would eventually lose weight. If you did not realize that already, I have a bridge in New Jersey I would like to sell you. 

Further, who are these women anyway? They clearly state that one was a former model and the other was a model booker. In my experience working in the fashion industry and with models, I have rarely encountered a model who prescribes to all of the above. The models I knew hung out at bars and clubs, drank like fish, smoked like chimneys and consumed buckets full of coffee AND diet soda. In fact, the “models diet” was based on cigarettes, coffee and Diet Coke (not to mention consuming large amounts of questionable and perhaps illegal substances, but that is another “diet” entirely). However, they (the models) did NOT eat so in that way I guess these ladies are onto something. 

There has got to be another way. In my humble opinion, the I LOVE FOOD DIET is the way to go. I want to be able to drink and eat what I want, whenever I want and as much as I want AND (occasionally) lose weight. It may not happen as quickly as the Skinny Bitch diet but at least I will be a ” Happy Bitch” 🙂 

Chow for now! 

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