What is FOOD?

But I am NOT Pregnant!

NYCSub 7 car exterior
Image via Wikipedia

Nothing says you need to go on a diet more than someone mistaking you for pregnant. Such was my case earlier today riding the number 6 train back home from Bloomingdale’s.

I did a little spring shopping and was carrying home 2 rather large shopping bags. Upon maneuvering myself on to the fairly crowded subway car, a very kind – but clearly short-sided gentleman, tapped me on the shoulder and motioned to me to take his seat.

I looked around and saw lots of other more people more deserving of the coveted seat and I graciously declined his kind offer. However, this man was determined that “I” was the chosen one and he gently nudged me into the chair. Befuddled by this unforseen act of chivalry, I declared “But, I am not pregnant!” As soon as that mildly defensive statement escaped my lips,¬†several of my fellow passengers burst out laughing.

However, as this is NYC, normal “subway protocol” calls for complete disengagement of your fellow passengers and my neighbors quickly stifled their giggles and returned to their blank stares, ignoring everybody around them.

One older gentleman next to me, munching on a container of mixed nuts, removed one of his ear buds from his ear and said to me confidentially, “Thanks for sharing the laugh”.

“No problem dude”. I said, “Me and baby (motioning to my non-existent pregnant belly) are happy to please.”

As I KNOW I clearly do NOT look like I am expecting, the only thing I could think of was that my attire was somewhat “unflattering”. As this winter has seen extreme changes in temperature on a daily basis, I have taken to wearing several layers.

I had on a t-shirt, a sweater, a scarf, jeans and my Heavy Tweed Yves Saint Laurent “Egg Shaped” Coat.

Upon further reflection, I can see that although my coat is very fashionable and fabulous, I guess I can see how someone, not familiar with this chic shape, could mistake the wearer for having a bun in the oven. There is no definition around the waist. In fact there is no definition at all. Its shaped like an Egg – narrow on top and the bottom and widest in the middle.

I think I need to go shopping.

Chow for now!

3 thoughts on “But I am NOT Pregnant!”

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